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  • Step 2 Homework Guide: Home Blueprint

HOME LOVE DESIGN BLUEPRINT:

So now you’ve completed your own personal LOVE + LIFE Blueprint® as well as that of your desired partner.  Next, it’s time for one of the most important and influential elements of your life – your home!  Did you know that your home, the colors you surround yourself with, the furniture you’ve selected, the photos and art displayed on your walls, the materials and textures around you, the contents of your refrigerator, your bathroom drawers, and your bedroom closet are all either attracting or repelling love in your life?  Your choices in all of these facets of your home reveal everything about you and how you feel about yourself, ranging from your level of true happiness and healthy self-love to feelings of depression, detachment, or scatteredness.  Therefore, not only is this portion of your LOVE HOUSE® build fun, but it will also be one of the most life-changing experiences you’ll undergo.  Whether you live in a single room or a palatial mansion has nothing to do with the truth behind what genuinely attracts the love you desire. 

Fill out each section of your home blueprint with thoroughness, care, and honesty.  Notice if areas of your home you once ignored or took for granted are telling you that they need something fresh or more fitting to your personality and life goals.  Are there empty walls or spaces that could use a splash of vibrant or calming color?  When was the last time you had a bouquet of fresh flowers placed in your living room, by your bedside, or in your kitchen?  When was the last time you truly noticed the comfort of your sheets?  When was the last time you thoroughly cleaned your house?  What about cleaning your refrigerator?  In fact, what’s even in your refrigerator?  Do your dishes and silverware bring you any level of joy?  Do you absolutely love the furniture you have, regardless of where it is placed, or is it just sitting there taking up space or in the wrong space?  These and many other areas of your home all hold a key to the story of who you are, how well you truly love yourself, and what you believe you deserve when it comes to love.  It’s time to get your house in order! 

As you implement these changes in your home, observe as your life begins to shift.  Take before and after photos of each space and area of change in your home to document this incredible transformation.  Post liberally across social media (@mylovedesignofficial)! 

  • Step 2 Homework Guide: Your Mate’s Love + Life Blueprint

YOUR MATE’S LOVE + LIFE BLUEPRINT: 

Congratulations!  You have just completed your personal LOVE + LIFE Blueprint®, and you have discovered a lot about yourself, especially when it comes to how you love and have allowed love in until now.  On a whole new level, you have learned who you are, what you need, what you deserve, why the love you desire may have eluded you, and what you get to do to fulfill and build your beautiful LOVE HOUSE®.  Now you are ready for incredible love to move in!  Whether you are married, coupled, or single, completing your LOVE HOUSE® build has supported you in shifting many aspects of your life that had held you back, thus empowering you to be a better partner to your present or future Mate. 

With this newfound awareness, it’s now time to create Your Mate’s LOVE + LIFE Blueprint®.  If you are single, you will be creating this blueprint based on all that you’ve learned with regard to love and what you desire in your future partner.  If you are coupled or married, each of you will have just completed your own individual blueprints and will now be creating your Mate blueprints together based upon your newly acquired wisdom and awareness.  In many ways, this is very similar to creating a vision board (a collage of cutout images of your favorite aspirations and inspirations in all areas of life that bring you joy).  When it comes to filling in each portion of Your Mate’s LOVE + LIFE Blueprint® (no, you will not be doing their homework for them!), write what you see or visualize as well as what you wish for in a life partner, and later show your Mate blueprints to each other.  Sharing your results with each other will reveal how each of you wishes to experience your lives, goals, and values together.  

This is meant to be fun but can get quite deep.  Regardless, it is meant to sharpen your vision as to what kind of Mate you are as well as want, need, and deserve. 

If coupled or married, this homework assignment is ultimately meant to bring you and your partner closer together with compassion and newfound awareness.  However, if you find that completing this homework has actually triggered something within you that may need continued healing, then it’s time for you to read out loud and discuss each of the 17 categories of the individual LOVE + LIFE Blueprints® together, bringing each of you back to a place that is filled with empathy, awareness, and love. 

  • Step 2 Homework Guide: Your Love + Life Blueprint

Intro

Hair

Natural Wisdom

Beauty

Health & Wellness

Self-Truth

Peace

Clothing, Appearance and Style

Financial Wellness

Mind Health

Teeth

Face & Skincare

Love (Self)

Ego Health

Spirit Health

Self-Control

Body/Fitness

Work (Calling)

YOUR LOVE + LIFE BLUEPRINT:

Whether you are coupled, married, or single, extraordinary love is ready and waiting for you!  Time to roll up your sleeves and dive in – so let’s go build that amazing LOVE HOUSE® of yours! 

You are about to embark on one of the most eye-opening and rewarding experiences of your life.  By completing the 17 distinct areas of your LOVE + LIFE Blueprint®, you are about to discover not only how magnificent you really are but also how the experience of love and the partner you deserve may have eluded you until now.  We at My Love Design® encourage you to be as thorough and honest with yourself as possible in filling out this life-changing blueprint, because you deserve the most extraordinary love life! 

HAIR:

You may not think this is true, but in fact, how you treat your hair (or whatever you have on your head!) reflects how you truly feel about yourself.  Find a large mirror, and take an honest look at your hair.  The appearance, style, and overall health of your hair says more about you than you know!  If you find that your hair is dry, brittle, or lacking luster or shine, that means that there are some things to address, be it nutritional or aesthetic.  It is important that your hair be not only healthy but also honoring your energy, spirit, and personality in life.  If you are bald or your hair is sparse, it is just as necessary to treat your scalp with the same love and attention that you would a full head of hair – from cleanliness to moisture to smell.  For those of you with thinning hair to a full head of hair, keep in mind that the same upkeep is essential. 

Do you believe that you deserve to be pampered?  You may be surprised at this question, even wondering what it has to do with your hair.  However, you would not believe how often people tend to abandon genuine self-care and fail to see its connection with how you treat yourself.  Start simply by making sure that when you apply your shampoo, you massage it lovingly into your scalp.  Seek out pressure points that immediately generate feelings of relaxation and calm.  Every day should be your personal spa day, not a slapdash operation.  How you treat yourself is how life will treat you in turn.  Does your hair bring you joy?  Does it make you happy?  Do the products you use in your hair awaken your senses?  If you have extra budget, you can purchase additional products that match the energy you feel in that particular moment or day.  For example, ylang ylang or lavender are ideal to soothe your soul, or if you need a pick-me-up, then give yourself the pleasure of some peppermint or tangerine.  There are many wonderful products to keep your hair healthy and vibrant – whether you purchase them at your local pharmacy or at the finest salons, there are product lines for everyone, every budget, and every hair type. 

If perhaps your hair hasn’t been updated since high school, then it’s time for a change!  As in life, we are all here to evolve so that we can receive all of the beautiful gifts that life has waiting.  This is a great time to ask your closest friends and truth tellers what they think of your hair.  Does it fit your personality?  Does it bring out the best you?  If not, seek out a respected salon to get a fresh cut, style, possible color, and/or conditioning treatment so that you can look and embody your best self.  Werk!! 

  • Find a large mirror, and make an honest assessment of your hair (or whatever you have on your head!), its style, and its overall wellness. 
  • Treat your hair and scalp with the respect it deserves regarding cleanliness, moisture, and smell. 
  • When you apply your shampoo, massage it into your scalp, seeking out pressure points that promote relaxation. 
  • Purchase and use quality haircare products that soothe your soul and keep your hair healthy and vibrant. 
  • Update your hairstyle if it’s stuck in the Stone Age. 
 
Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for gorgeous and healthy hair:

Hand-crafted in top grade Xiu Yan Jade, this elegant tool is uniquely designed to stimulate multiple acupressure points on your scalp to promote increased blood and qi (energy) flow to the scalp, both of which are necessary for healthy scalp and hair!

Scalp Stimulator

This hydrating, magical water-light serum is infused with a 5% Biomimetic Peptide Blend for visibly thicker, fuller and healthier hair. Its Hyaluronic acid features seven molecular weights that deliver multi-level hydration to your scalp, while niacinamide and vitamin B3 help strengthen your scalp’s protective barrier. Enjoy!
The Scalp Serum

NATURAL WISDOM:

Your natural wisdom is your soul’s voice that speaks straight-up truth to you.  It knows you and has the ability to awaken you and protect you better than anyone else ever could – if you let it.  When you hear and truly listen to that inner voice, it is the beginning of learning how to fully love and value yourself.  It is when you ignore that voice that you get into trouble and repeat patterns that can keep you stuck and unhappy.  Because at times it can feel as if you have a multitude of voices that echo through your head, it is important to discern the voice of natural wisdom from those that come from lack, fear, unhealthy ego, or possibly even childhood wounds. 

Now is the time to get honest with yourself when it comes to the reality of how closely you listen to, trust, and follow the natural wisdom within you.  Sit with yourself for a moment in a place that is still and quiet.  Notice if the voice that speaks to you comes primarily from scarcity, anger, and control or from warmth, love, and constructive direction.  If it comes from the former, that is your wounded ego ineptly trying to protect you rather than your true inner voice (higher self) coming from a place of grace and genuine guidance.  If you feel intuitively that your connection to your higher voice needs some recalibrating or redirection, or that perhaps you may need a reintroduction to it, now is a great time to get some outside support by reading a great book recommended by our resident experts or by attending one of our expert-led events on this very topic.  You could also seek out a respected life, spiritual, or wellness coach, counselor, or therapist (even one of our resident experts!) to help uncover and honor what that voice is saying. 

  • Sit with yourself for a moment in a place that is still and quiet.  Notice if the voice that speaks to you from within comes primarily from scarcity, anger, and control or from warmth, love, and constructive direction. 
  • Check if you are in alignment with your true natural wisdom. 
  • Obtain guidance on this subject from an enlightening book among our Best Of recommended items or from one of our many engaging events. 
  • Seek out a respected life, spiritual, or wellness coach, counselor, or therapist to help uncover and honor what that voice is saying. 
Our ‘best of’ product and service recommendations for gaining natural wisdom:

Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie

Experience true and natural wisdom as you read America’s beloved inspirational writer Melody Beattie’s Daily Meditations. You’ll be guided on a sacred journey as you learn to expand your creativity, embrace your powers, and open your heart to all that’s waiting.

Journey to the Heart

 

Cedar and Myrrh Cinnamon Incense Sticks

Hand rolled in Peru with cinnamon powder, sawdust of palo santo wood, vegetable gum and bamboo stick, this cinnamon incense is known for its extraordinary healing, relaxing and purifying properties. In ancient times, it was used as a relaxant by rural mothers to put children to sleep when they went to the fields to work. It was also believed to provide love, peace, prosperity, protection, and happiness.

Cedar and Myrrh

BEAUTY:

What does beauty mean to you?  The word itself might evoke many images and feelings in your mind.  Some interpret beauty to be the highest of superficiality that one sees in social media, such as the symmetrical face or so-called perfect dimensions of a supermodel.  Others see it in the face of a newborn baby or a desert flower or a stunning sunset.  Beauty can also be seen in what society sometimes deems as unattractive.  The physically most “beautiful” face and body can turn ugly fast if one’s thoughts and behaviors are dark or dismissive of oneself or others.  One that society may not have deemed beautiful can turn stunning in minutes if their energy reflects love, joy, compassion, intelligence, or great humor.  Which one do you choose to be?  What is beautiful to you?  Do you see yourself as beautiful?  If so, what does that look and feel like?  How do you see and experience beauty with yourself, others, and the world around you? 

Find a space outside, whether you live in the city or the country, and look to find what is truly magnificent to you.  Note this in your journal, connect it to your natural wisdom, and listen for your higher teacher that’s been speaking to you for a while.  In its rawest form, beauty is a profound energy that shapes the way you see and experience the world around you.  What may be blocking you from receiving the love you desire is your interpretation of beauty for yourself and others.  Reflect on what you’ve learned about the meaning of beauty when it comes to love in your life, and reassess what serves you in a healthy way so that you can implement those necessary changes. 

  • Ask yourself what is beautiful to you and whether you see yourself as beautiful, both inside and out. 
  • Note in your journal what may be blocking you from receiving the love you desire when it comes to your perception of beauty. 
  • Reflect on what you’ve learned about the meaning of beauty when it comes to love in your life, and reassess what serves you in a healthy way so that you can implement those necessary changes. 
Our ‘best of’ product and service recommendations:
 

We all have inner beauty. This deep and thoughtful book combines ancient wisdom with modern-day mindfulness, showing you how to follow your heart and nourish your soul with a collection of simple rituals that can be easily woven into your life. From turning your bedroom into a peaceful sanctuary to a harmonious rose-infused bathtime ritual, stay connected to your inner beauty and tap into your deeper wisdom.

The inner beauty bible

 

Costa Brazil Bath Salts

This unique blend of Epsom salts and mineral sea salts along with detoxifying Brazilian white clay, breu branco, vitamin C-infused camu camu and a natural proprietary compound of copaiba and passionfruit seed oils helps promote healthy-looking skin by providing you with nourishing antioxidants that calm your skin following exposure to environmental stress.

Costa Brazil Bath Salts

 

HEALTH & WELLNESS:

It is crucial to approach health and wellness from a broader perspective.  Of course, you’ve often heard that your body is your temple, so make sure to respect your body with healthy foods and a regular exercise routine.  However, health and wellness reflect a much larger scope than just physicality.  If you ingest a diet of kindness, compassion, and good boundaries through your own behaviors as well as the people and environments that surround you, you actually improve your immune system, and you uplift your spirits and align your thoughts and emotions to a higher plane.  The truth of your health and wellness shows up not only through the warmth on your face, the brightness in your eyes, the vitality of your hair, the cleanliness of your teeth, the uprightness of your posture, the serenity of your mind, and the strength of your body, but it also manifests itself in the way you present yourself, the words you use, and how you respond to stressors in life.  It is of utmost importance that you honor your health and wellness in every way by being mindful of what you put into your mind and body as well as with what you surround yourself.  We at My Love Design® believe that you have the power energetically to affect the health and wellness of those around you through your thoughts, actions, and behaviors, so do all that you can to honor and protect the tremendous value of the good health and wellness of your LOVE HOUSE®.

In your journal, note the foods, thoughts, people, and behaviors that no longer serve your highest self.  Make sure to pay attention to your body and that beautiful inner voice of yours anytime you are presented with any potentially harmful temptations that life may present you.  At the same time, make sure that you are not depriving yourself of its many treats as well.  Life is to be savored, and you get to honor your presence in it. 

  • Honor your body with healthy foods and a regular exercise routine. 
  • Ingest a diet of kindness, compassion, and good boundaries through your own behaviors as well as the people and environments that surround you. 
  • In your journal, note the foods, thoughts, people, and behaviors that no longer serve your highest self, and make an actionable plan to minimize or fully remove them from your life. 
  • Make sure as well (in moderation!) that you are not depriving yourself of life’s many treats. 

 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for a healthy mind and body: 

Stacie Clark’s Methodx Program

Be trained in body, health, and wellness by iFit global ambassador and fitness leader, Stacie Clark and experience an extraordinary transformation journey. As part of THE METHODx community, you’ll gain access to fitness programs designed for all ages and fitness levels. From weight loss to strength to cardio (and more), with THE METHODx, you’ll be prepared to feel great, sleep better and perform at your highest level. Stacie can’t wait to meet you!
 
Stacie Clark Methodx
 
Highly recommended for your nutritional and mental clarity, MCT Wellness contains a uniquely potent blend of caprylic acid — one of the most powerful medium-chain triglycerides known to man — and bioflavonoids. This formula has been found to help support a healthy metabolism, help increase your energy, and help you to enjoy clear mental sharpness.
Gundry MCT Wellness
 
 

SELF-TRUTH:

This one is massive, so take heed!  We are about to enter the sphere of self-truth, which affects everything that relates to the quality of love and relationships you have in your life.  Your self-truth is your ability to be absolutely real with yourself by acting as an honest and accurate mirror for your actions, your thoughts, your words, your value system, and the extent to which you are truly honoring these elements in your life.  This is the moment to examine your capacity to be fully real with yourself and others and to notice your tendency to ignore or abandon certain truths and values, which may manifest through behaviors ranging from being easily irritated to being quick to judge to flat-out lying to becoming co-dependent or passive aggressive.  Now is the time to get authentic and open – and in turn, to love yourself to your highest value.  It is through this radical honesty that you can identify potential emotional or mental blocks that prevent the kind of love you desire from entering your life.  At times this may seem like a scary step for you, but it is essential to identify these barriers so that you can release them and disarm these behaviors of their debilitating power.  This gives you the invigorating freedom to allow love into your life! 

Note in your journal the areas in your life where you have not been fully honest with yourself or others.  Make sure to do this with grace, understanding, compassion, and self-forgiveness, connecting with why you have chosen to stay away from the truth that has remained hidden behind the lies.  Know that although this self-deception may emanate from a place of perceived self-protection, it also comes from the least evolved part of your brain and from childhood wounds.  It’s time to let all that go because you deserve so much more!  Without full truth, there is very little room for anything real in your life, especially the fullness of love.  After you finish writing down the lies that have been holding you back, tear out these pages from your journal and rip them into tiny pieces, placing them in an envelope which you can burn, throw in a dumpster, or mail to yourself as a symbolic reminder of what you have lovingly released from your life.  As you begin to tell more and more of the truth, you will not believe how dramatically your life improves.  Even healthy people do this regularly (e.g. quarterly) – an emotional enema is great for clearing any unnecessary waste that stands between you and your best self. 

  • Examine your capacity to be fully real with yourself and others, and notice your tendency to ignore or abandon certain personal truths and values. 
  • Be authentic and open to truth in your life.  Allow yourself to love yourself and be loved in return, honoring your highest intangible value. 
  • Note in your journal the areas in your life where you have not been fully honest with yourself or others.  Make sure to do this with grace, understanding, compassion, and self-forgiveness. 
  • Identify barriers and behaviors that clearly prevent love from entering your life. 
  • Write down whatever lies you may have been telling yourself that have been holding you back.  Then tear out these pages from your journal and rip them into tiny pieces, placing them in an envelope which you can burn, throw in a dumpster, or mail to yourself as a symbolic reminder of the untruths you have lovingly released from your life. 
  • Do this process regularly to clear any unnecessary waste that stands between you and your highest self. 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for a healthy mind and body: 

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz & Janet Mills

A must read for everyone, The Four Agreements is filled with essential steps leading you on a path to personal freedom. As beliefs are transformed through maintaining these agreements, shamanic teacher and healer Don Miguel Ruiz teaches how lives can “become filled with grace, peace, and unconditional love”. 

The Four Agreements 

 

Parachute Salt Water Scented Candle

Set a relaxing mood in your LOVE HOUSE with this fragrant, clean-burning candle housed in a lovely minimalist concrete vessel. This wonderful addition to your home experience is available in two natural scents, one for day and one for night:

Salt Water: Sea salt with notes of citrus, seagrass, cyprus and clean driftwood.

Dusk: Jasmine, patchouli and saffron mixed with ebony wood and lily of the valley.

Parachute Salt Water Candle

 

PEACE:

How much peace do you truly have in your life?  How carefree and connected to yourself are you?  Lately, would you consider yourself to be more serene – or anxious?  Do you tend to face life’s stressors with grace and calm, or do you let them rule your existence?  It is especially during difficult times that you realize your true capacity for the peace that you surround yourself with, that you omit, and that you create through mindful balance, thought, prayer, meditation, connection, and seeking the teacher in what’s happening around you.  Only then can you experience true serenity and genuine self-love.  It’s easy to feel peaceful or comfortable, even relaxed, when all is going well.  However, each and every one of you will come across a moment of stress or challenge, which is only natural in life.  Seek to experience and face each challenge by first sitting back and observing what feelings you are having.  Do this with a gentle grace and understanding for yourself as opposed to reacting in a kneejerk fashion.  Allow yourself to realize the power you truly have to sit still in the moment and feel what is needed to bring you peace. 

Grab your journal, and list the areas of your life that consume you or distract from your ability for peace.  Note how you may have responded to each life test until now.  Sit back and look at each area for what it is.  What do you feel is the root cause from which it grows?  For the next seven days, seek the teacher in each challenge, large or small, that may come your way.  And instead of potentially reacting with anxiety, anger, or fear, practice responding first with stillness, then curiosity, then compassion, then love.  Notice how dramatically your life has shifted. 

Rinse and repeat! 

  • Ask yourself whether or not you are truly at peace and what that means for you. 
  • Understand why you may not have been at peace until now.  Take ownership of why that might be, whether it stems from your own unhelpful behavior or you’ve allowed yourself to stay in an unhealthy dynamic for far too long. 
  • Seek to experience all challenges by first sitting back and observing what you are feeling rather than reacting in a kneejerk, victim-y, or hostile fashion. 
  • List in your journal the areas of your life that consume you or distract from your ability for peace.  Note how you may have responded to each life test until now. 
  • For the next seven days, seek the teacher in each challenge, large or small, that may come your way – for there are many! 
  • When you encounter a stressor, practice responding first with stillness, then curiosity, then compassion, then love. 

 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for having peace:

Barcelona Elite – 1-2 Person Ultra Low EMF FAR Infrared Sauna 

Constructed from natural hemlock wood, this wonderful in-home sauna utilizes FAR infrared heat to relax sore muscles, reduce stiffness, and relieve joint pain while increasing your circulation and removing toxins from your body.

This intuitive sauna also features 6 carbon heating elements and a roof vent providing safe heat and air circulation while healing your mind body.

 

Shou Sugi Ban House Luxury Wellness Resort & Spa 

Inspired by wellness traditions that value the beauty and healing properties found within the natural world, Shou Sugi Ban House offers a peaceful and holistic environment that is tranquil and transcendent, encouraging one to return to the simplicity of self.

Discover true inner peace through an all encompassing and balanced approach towards mind, body and spiritual wellness.

Shou Sugi Ban

 

CLOTHING, APPEARANCE, AND STYLE:

Your clothing, appearance, and personal style reveals everything about who you are, how you feel about yourself in the here and now, and how you feel about the world at large.  It can tell others how happy, confident, and comfortable you are with yourself and the world around you.  Think of your wardrobe and personal style as your (healthy or unhealthy) ego’s costume in life that represents you, your value system, and how you look at life.  Also, know that it affects how you are experienced by others.  Yes, it is important to look your best, but that can mean many different things depending on the context.  It can certainly be rewarding to find and wear the best in current fashion, textures, colors, and materials that make you happy regardless of the price point.  However, notice if you find that you do not feel good enough about yourself because perhaps you are unable to wear or afford what society considers the “best-of-the-best.”  Perhaps you have unhealthily tied your identity to certain brands with which you adorn yourself.  Or you may find yourself dreading what you’ll wear next or feeling displaced with the wardrobe you have.  If so, sit with yourself and get quiet for a moment, and seek to discover where these beliefs started.  Ask yourself what it is that you’re feeling and experiencing around your clothing and style.  Do your clothes and style represent the best, happiest, most confident, joyful you?  Or do your clothes cover up parts of you or your body that you’re not pleased with?  Do they hide the best parts of you and your true personality?  If so, how and why?  Regardless, what matters most is simply how you feel in your clothing and if this comes from your highest self. 

Everywhere you look has a potential fashion show of people uncovering the truth about how they authentically feel about themselves.  Notice what you like, appreciate, and recognize in others through their choice of wardrobe and how it all makes you feel.  This is the time to sit in your closet with a close friend, try things on piece by piece, and ask yourself whether each item brings you happiness, comfort, and healthy confidence.  What in your closet specifically needs to change?  This can be really fun and exciting, but make sure to take baby steps as you move into your fullest, most beautiful you! 

Grab two large garbage bags.  One is for every piece of clothing you own that is either torn, falling apart, no longer fits you, or you haven’t worn for the last two years.  Think of this as a healthy spiritual declutter!  When ready, bring these items to a place that can refurbish them, as opposed to throwing them away.  The other bag is for every piece of clothing (other than your undergarments!) that you have so enjoyed but no longer wear.  Donate these items to a local organization whose donations may bring joy to someone else in need.  Finally, go back into your closet, close your eyes, and take in a deep relaxing breath.  Picture in your mind all of the articles that you have just released, and imagine them bringing love and joy to someone else.  Smile to yourself, and know that you have just done a “mitzvah” (good deed) for someone who might be in need.  Now open your eyes, and this time get ready to do a kind deed for yourself.  Look at your wardrobe and what remains.  Edit every piece of clothing starting from your favorite, most comfortable casual pieces for everyday wear.  Transition the flow of your clothing from comfy casual to business professional to dressy to formal.  You can do this starting from your lightest to your darkest colors.  Depending on your space and the size of your closet, you may do this seasonally, or you may combine them all together.  Notice what your closet reveals and how you present yourself in life.  If it makes you smile and feel good, then you are honoring yourself and on the right track to all of the gifts that the world has waiting. 

  • Think of your wardrobe and personal style as your (healthy or unhealthy) ego’s costume in life that represents you, your value system, and how you look at life. 
  • Ask yourself if your clothes and style represent the best, happiest, most confident, joyful you or if they cover up parts of you or your body that you’re not pleased with. 
  • Delve within and identify where any negative beliefs you may have about how you clothe and style yourself may have come from. 
  • Notice what you like, appreciate, and recognize in others through their choice of wardrobe and how it all makes you feel. 
  • Examine your closet and wardrobe with a close friend, try things on piece by piece, and ask yourself whether each item brings you happiness, comfort, and healthy confidence. 
  • Grab two large garbage bags to help edit your wardrobe.  One is for every piece of clothing you own that is either torn, falling apart, no longer fits you, or you haven’t worn for the last two years.  The other bag is for every piece of clothing that you have enjoyed for years but no longer wear. 
  • Notice what your closet reveals and how you present yourself in life. 

 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for elevated style:

Adidas Y-3 Gazelle Tennis Shoes

An adidas classic for both men and women, this cute and comfortable sneaker is a must have for casual to elevated looks. The famed Gazelle is reimagined wrapped in suede for a clean, premium look.

Adidas Y3 Gazelle

Alex Mill Freja Roll Neck Sweater

Made from 100% extra fine merino wool and in a subtle heathered knit, this is one of those sweaters you’ll reach for over and over.

Alex Mill Freja Sweater

FINANCIAL WELLNESS:

Money – this is a big one, especially how you treat and think of it!  It can not only affect your identity and experience in love but also the value in which you see yourself and the security you feel in life.  It can be a massive illusion that blocks you from love and the right partner.  Identifying too much power with money on any level is a huge risk.  There is a spiritual necessity to honor and respect whatever amount of money you have.  This is true even if it is a single penny that you find on the ground, and your attitude toward that penny and your subsequent reaction (e.g. dismissing it because you think it is just a penny, picking it up and thanking the universe for sending it to you, or thanking it and leaving it for someone else who may need it) reveals volumes about your relationship with money.  In fact, how you treat money is exactly how it shows up in your life.  Do you look at money with fear or anxiety?  With disregard?  With greed?  Or with appreciation?  How do you spend your money?  Do you treat your finances coming from a place of lack or from abundance?  Do you give your money freely or stingily?  Every amount of money you have, no matter how much, is a gift to be honored and respected, and it gets to be held loosely but with grace and gratitude. 

When it comes to money, it’s not how much you have but also how you actually received it.  Did you earn it based on hard work, gratitude, and healthy pride, or did you use and abuse others to enrich yourself?  Does your wealth stem from something you enjoy and from self-honor?  At what point does the money that you have become enough?  An unhealthy attitude toward money often revolves around scarcity and control.  You have an independent and personal responsibility to respect money yet not to grant it inappropriate power. 

No, money is not everything, but your financial wellness is actually an integral part of your overall well-being, as it reflects the underlying health and balance of your true state of mind.  How responsible are you with your money and how you spend it?  Or rather, how you save it?  Do you truly have enough for a rainy day?  Do you have enough set aside to sustain you if you don’t earn a single penny for the next 6 months?  If you enjoy your credit cards, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with that, as long as you’re honoring your credit, handling your monthly payments, and able to afford them.  So long as your spending habits aren’t causing you true stress and you are honoring the value system of your highest self and the world around you, then enjoy and spend what feels right to your heart’s content.  If not, this is an opportunity to create boundaries that honor your true priorities.  You may find it helpful to meet with a respected and reputable financial advisor (perhaps even your own accountant) to look at the reality of the money you’ve spent in the last year, the interest that you’ve spent on any money borrowed, and the matter of whether this feels good to you and honors your highest self.  If it doesn’t feel good or you’re noticing inklings of shame, fear, or struggle, let yourself feel those feelings, and love yourself first by forgiving yourself.  Every day is a brand-new day full of possibility, and tomorrow can feel wholly different in how you choose to spend, earn, and experience your money.  Make a list in your journal of how you’ve spent your money up to this point, how you feel about it, and if there are any changes that you feel the need to make.  Begin to make that shift today. 

  • Ask yourself how you treat money, as that is exactly how it shows up in your life. 
  • Pay attention to how responsible you are with your money and how you spend and save it. 
  • Create boundaries that honor your true financial and life priorities. 
  • Meet with a respected and reputable financial advisor to look at the reality of the money you’ve spent in the last year, the interest that you’ve spent on any money borrowed, and the matter of whether this feels good to you and honors your highest self. 
  • Know that every day is a brand-new day full of possibility, and tomorrow can feel wholly different in how you choose to spend, earn, and experience your money. 

MIND HEALTH:

We at My Love Design® say the following words delicately and with love.  While being aware of how you are feeling today or in life in general, all that you are experiencing is based upon the level of unconditional love you’ve received from childhood until now, the foods and beverages you consume on a daily basis, the overall healthiness of your mind today, and the gentleness you manifest toward your own mind.  Your mind’s true health is first felt within and then brought to light through the way you love yourself and others.  How you feel, the health of your mind, and the very life you are living are expressed through your behavior, your actions, how you perceive things in life, and every word you use. 

Be mindful – you are precious and you matter!  You may come from a background of depression, anxiety, rage, or resentment.  You may have learned to face adversity with denial, outbursts of anger, or wanting to brush things under the rug.  You may hope that if you don’t see or acknowledge what’s uncomfortable, it either doesn’t exist or will just go away.  If this has been you, you must know that this doesn’t work very well, and you have the power within to construct such a better life!  When your mind is healthy, you sit with a sense of peace and tranquility that is not only seen and felt in the life that surrounds you but also through those that you allow into your life.  If there is something that is consistently broken in your life, this is not the time to look outside yourself but rather within to get to the truth of the state of your mind and whether it is serving you.  Whether you battle depression or any other form of mental illness, there is no shame in it.  There is only the need to listen to it and honor it.  When you are ready to face your part of what is not working in your life, do all that you can to get the help and support that you need so that you and others around you can experience all the magnificence that life has waiting! 

It’s time again to grab your journal.  Jot your thoughts, feelings, and observations into your notebook around what you have just learned.  Acknowledge what you need to start making the shifts toward true mind health and self-awareness.  This is a great time to ask a trusted friend or research information regarding a skilled mental health professional.  You are looking for someone who will not only listen but also respectfully challenge your perceptions with grace, healthy boundaries, and a bit of tough love.  This is all about you loving yourself and allowing extraordinary love to enter your life. 

  • For one week, make a comprehensive list of foods and beverages that you consume on a daily basis, paying close attention to the true nutritional value that they bring to your body and mind health – or not!  Be mindful of the reasons behind everything that you eat or drink. 
  • Do all that you can to get the help and support that you may need so that you and others around you can experience all the magnificence that life has waiting! 
  • Acknowledge what may be needed to start making the shifts toward true mind health and self-awareness. 
  • Consult a trusted friend or a skilled professional who will not only listen but respectfully challenge your perceptions with grace, healthy boundaries, and a bit of tough love. 
 
Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for mind health and self-awareness:

Verilux HappyLight Lumi Plus

When you can’t get outside in the sunshine for long periods of time, a light therapy lamp is a good alternative for those who need a pick me up. Verliux has one of our favorite mood lamps that delivers up to 10,000 lux of UV-free light; alternate the brightness levels with three modes, and you can set a timer for up to 60 minutes of re-energizing light. Compact and portable, this gentle light can be placed on a desk while you work from home, or on a bedside table to help wake you up gently in the morning. It’s recommended that the light should be facing your eyes (without you staring directly into it) starting for 10 minutes a day, then gradually increase the time until you feel the desired effect.


 

Lululemon Reversible Yoga Mat

Anyone can benefit from developing a practice of moving your body in gentle ways. A good place to start is by picking up a high-quality yoga mat, like this Reversible 5 MM Mat from Lululemon, which is thick enough to cushion your body and protect your joints from a hard floor, making it great for meditating lying down or sitting, even if it was specifically crafted for yoga. The top layer is super grippy, if your practice involves more sweat, but the natural rubber base has an antimicrobial additive so it stays fresh for longer.

Lulu Reversible Mat

 

TEETH:

This may be a surprise to you, but your teeth (or for some your “chompers” or “pearly whites”) are an incredibly important factor when it comes to attracting the right partner.  However, before going into more detail, if you are saying to yourself that your teeth are perfect and amazing, that’s great, but then make sure that the beauty of your teeth is in balance with the beauty of your mind and your spiritual well-being. 

Back to your teeth!  As superficial as it may sound to some, you may be amazed at the extent to which the color, health, and overall state of your teeth affect your love life.  Your teeth are actually a window into the state of your physical, mental, and even financial health.  Yes, some areas of the world do place far more importance than others on having gleaming white teeth and a perfectly straight smile, yet at the end of the day, if you have yellow, stained, overly crooked, or missing teeth, it’s time to ask yourself why.  Does your mouth properly reflect how you feel about yourself?  What can you do to make your teeth and smile healthier?  Not only are healthy teeth strong components of a gorgeous smile, but they also can have a great impact on the health of your heart and various other organs.  Your mouth is the entrance that many pathogens take to enter your body, and it is also what your lover kisses.  This is the mouth that sustains you through breathing air and chewing food.  It is also the vessel through which you smile, speak, and connect with others, which makes it an incredibly important part of honoring yourself, your intimate life experiences, and your health.  So it is important to be mindful of these factors. 

Some people may have anxiety or fear at the mere thought of going to a dentist, so this may be the time to address these fears as part of your journey to self-love.  Nonetheless, if you’re overdue for a full check-up, look up a respected dentist in your area, and give that beautiful mouth of yours the attention it deserves.  Having a healthy smile does not need to be expensive; for many, it can be as simple as a good toothbrush and toothpaste. 

Take a moment to look in the mirror and smile wide.  Acknowledge that this magnificent mouth of yours has been on this journey with you your entire life.  Thank it for all the wonderful experiences – from taking its first breath to speaking its first word to tasting its first sweet to savoring its first kiss to speaking its first boundary with the word “no.”  Now is the time to honor it in return and allow it to become the most dazzling version of itself! 

  • Make sure that the beauty of your teeth and mouth is in balance with the beauty of your mind and your spiritual well-being. 
  • Take a moment to look in the mirror and smile wide.  Acknowledge that this magnificent mouth of yours has been on this journey with you your entire life. 
  • Look up a respected dentist in your area, and give that beautiful mouth of yours the attention it deserves, especially if your teeth are presently yellow, stained, overly crooked, or missing.  And if it’s been a while since you’ve had a thorough cleaning and checkup (over six months), now is the time do this. 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for healthier, whiter teeth

Burst Oral Care Water Flosser

This water flosser received extremely high marks from our testers—water flossing newbies included. It’s cordless, which is great for traveling (if you’re so committed to your water flosser that you feel like you can’t spend a night without it), and it’s totally waterproof. In fact, Burst recommends you use it in the shower, which is both time-efficient and, perhaps, less messy.

Crest 3DWhitestrips Professional Effects

Both dentists we spoke with unanimously agree that these are the best whitening strips out there and laud them for their use of hydrogen peroxide. Most teeth whitening strips contain hydrogen peroxide, the only ingredient clinically proven to whiten teeth.1 It’s the same active found in professional whitening treatments, though at a much lower concentration. That does mean results will be less dramatic, generally only a few shades whiter, but the upshot is much less sensitivity—if any at all.

Crest 3D

FACE & SKINCARE:

Your face and skin are a genuine reflection not only of your overall health but also of how you view and love yourself.  From the foods you put into your body to the products you place on your skin to the amount of sleep you get to the amount of water you ingest, your true beauty along with the energy and glow of your appearance is immediately experienced by others as well as by your own self.  It is just as important to be mindful of these factors as it is to use skincare products that honor your value system as well as nurture your body and spirit.  Ranging from inexpensive to opulent, lotions and treatments from head to toe are available not only for your enjoyment but also for your ability to bring out your most healthy and youthful radiance.  Whether applying lotion to your face or cream to your body, be sure to pause and be in the moment as you use gentle massage and seek pressure points that may need attention with mindful touch.  You might be surprised to see how giving just one simple pressure point a bit of attention can shift your entire state of being.  Try to find a way each day to give your entire self the love and attention it deserves.  You’ll be blown away that what was once a quick application to simply moisturize your skin has become a nurturing ritual with which you rejuvenate your entire way of being. 

For those of you who experience skin imperfections that may have caused you to feel self-conscious and that have felt primarily out of your control, such as forms of acne, birthmarks, scarring from wounds or pregnancy, weight change, eczema, or other skin conditions, please know first and foremost that you are stunning just as you are!  It is vital to refrain from seeing yourself as flawed, as everything that is unique to you actually gives you the ability to see and experience life, love, and beauty in an even more magnificent way.  If you feel though that you want to change an aspect of what you still see as a flaw, first start by speaking to that part of your face or body with compassion, for it is an important part of you and your journey to true and authentic love. 

From plastic surgery to chemical peels to medical-grade creams to concealers to other regimens, many things can in fact be done to minimize or treat many of these conditions.  If you are curious, reach out to a trusted friend and/or research respected experts in these areas.  Regardless, it comes down to you loving yourself exactly where you’re at, as there are people with “perfect” skin and bodies according to society’s norms who are deeply insecure and actually feel and see themselves as “ugly.”  And there are those who carry many of society’s deemed imperfections who genuinely feel the most beautiful and sexy of all! 

Go find your journal, and take a moment for an honest inventory of all of your skincare products for your face and body.  Make sure that they haven’t expired or turned rancid, as they not only may smell bad but can be toxic for your skin.  Next, look at what you have remaining and decide if you love the product or have held onto it just because you bought it or have emotional attachment to it.  If you don’t love it, throw it out.  This is not meant to be wasteful or to ignore that there are others who might enjoy this product.  However, hygienically, it is not advisable to share this with someone else, as bacteria has accumulated.  As for what you are keeping and/or notice needs to be purchased, make a list and/or refer to the recommended products by our resident experts to fulfill and nurture your lovingly mindful skincare routine. 

  • Acknowledge that your face and skin are a genuine reflection not only of your overall health but also of how you view and love yourself. 
  • Be mindful of how you treat your body.  Use face and skincare products that honor your value system as well as nurture your body and spirit. 
  • When applying products, be sure to pause and be in the moment as you use gentle massage and seek pressure points that may need attention with mindful touch. 
  • Reach out to a trusted friend or respected expert who can advise how to remedy certain skin blemishes, as long as you do this while recognizing that you are beautiful and perfect no matter what you choose to do. 
  • Complete an honest inventory and edit of all of your skincare products for your face and body. 

 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for glowing skin:

Caudalie Vinoperfect Serum

A complexion-correcting, highly concentrated, oil-free serum to help reduce the appearance of dark spots, even skin tone and boost radiance.

Caudalie Vinoperfect

iS Clinical Cleansing Complex

iS Clinical Cleansing Complex retextures your skin to give you a smooth, blemish-free complexion. White willow bark exfoliates and breaks up pore-clogging oil to boost cell turnover and tighten the appearance of your pores. Antioxidants derived from chamomile and centella asiatica heal skin damage and prevent free radicals from wreaking havoc on your complexion. This resurfacing gel wash lathers to remove makeup and assist in shaving.

iS Clinical

LOVE (SELF):

Have you learned how to truly love yourself?  When you think of self-love, what comes to mind?  Does the answer instantly come from your ego, perhaps focusing on what a “good person” you are or what you’ve accumulated through your bank account, your workouts, your wardrobe, your car, or your popularity?  Are you surrounded by people who may leave you the moment your name, fame, finances, looks, or other external attributes might disappear?  Or does the answer seem to come from your highest self and your soul, meaning that you’ve learned to love yourself deeply and compassionately, flaws and all, surrounded by many wonderful friends and genuine truth tellers who treat you with loving respect and who love you just for you, not for what you provide? 

Are you respecting yourself by keeping your finances and credit sound regardless of the amount of money you have or make?  Do you keep your home and life peacefully organized with loving balance and structure?  Is your health where it deserves to be?  Do you honor yourself and others through the words and the energy used when met with challenges, discomfort, or inconvenience?  If you can comfortably say yes that you have been respecting yourself in these areas, then you are exhibiting a heightened level of self-awareness and true self-love. 

Each of your responses, whether from your ego or your highest self, comes from a version of self-love, yet the overall reality can be felt and experienced in radically different ways.  One has an energy based on performance, control, and scarcity, and the other comes with a gentle sense of peace, warmth, and genuine joy.  Grab your journal and note some areas in your life where perhaps you deserve a little more self-love, along with the ways in which they may need to improve.  Work on making and honoring those changes, and see how quickly your true experience of self-love is manifested.

  • Ask yourself whether you have learned to truly love yourself. 
  • Ask yourself whether true self-love is reflected in all aspects of your life – from your finances to your home organization to your health to the people you surround yourself with to the life partners you have chosen. 
  • Note in your journal some areas in your life where perhaps you deserve a little more self-love, along with the ways in which they may need to improve. 

Our ‘best of’ product recommendations for fostering self-love:

Heart Talk: The Journal

Inspired by her conversations with the thousands of fans she has met on her nationwide sold-out tours, Heart Talk: The Journal is a space to share your own truths alongside hers.

As Cleo writes, “The best thing about your life is that it is constantly in a state of design. This means you have, at all times, the power to redesign it. Make moves, allow shifts, smile more, do more, do less, say no, say yes—just remember, when it comes to your life, you are not only the artist but the masterpiece, as well.”

Inside, you will find the opportunity to let go, feel what you need to feel, discover your own poetic wisdom, and become the person you want to be.

 

EGO HEALTH:

What is the health of your ego?  Most people tend to assume that the ego is strictly negative and aligned with some form of narcissism.  We assure you it is not.  In fact, your ego was originally created to become a beautiful part of your identity, setting the boundaries that allow you to healthily react to life’s experiences and challenges.  The fitness and well-being of your ego is not only recognized through the way you respond to life but is also seen and felt by others. 

In the beginning, you were born with a beautiful and healthy ego that was originally designed to protect you as you navigated the world.  As a child, your ego met life with curiosity, innocence, faith, love, and trust, and in turn, it embodied these very characteristics.  Similar to a well-built home, constructed to withstand the elements and storms that could leave its foundation vulnerable, in childhood your ego might have become worn down by the elements that surrounded you.  Such environmental hazards could include emotionally detached parents, shame, divorce, abuse, bullying, family addiction, poverty, trauma, and so on. 

Therefore, the truth of your ego today can be understood through your behaviors, experiences, and feelings as demonstrated through grace, peace, compassion, love, empathy, truth-telling, excitement, joy, curiosity, good health, happy marriages, happy children, and even the light of your face and skin.  Conversely, a damaged ego shows up as shame, criticism, closed-mindedness, control, abuse, addiction, struggle, conflict, hatefulness, gossip, chronic pain, stress, anxiety, and even unhealthy body manifestations.  Which ego state is yours?  Many of us have elements of both to lesser or greater degrees.  If you are being truly honest with yourself, you know deep down that an unhealthy ego does not serve you, those that you care about, or the world or society at large, and this at times crazy world is experiencing fractured egos now more than ever. 

If you have been going through life with a wounded ego, know that it is not your fault.  In fact, as you know, just about everyone else around you is wounded to a certain extent as well.  The great news is that you do not need to continue your life debilitated by unhappiness, pain, brokenness, guilt, shame, loneliness, and negativity.  It is ultimately up to you what constructive changes you choose to make in order to live your life to the fullest, especially in adulthood and in your romantic relationships. 

Grab your journal, and identify the ways in which you communicate or behave through an unhealthy ego.  How has it impacted your life and others?  How might it still be impacting your life today?  What are some ways in which you can express your healthy ego?  How might that impact your life differently?  Read your answers to each of these questions back to yourself, and make the decision to start letting the behaviors of your unhealthy ego melt away and your beautiful original ego take hold so that you can live the life that you deserve. 

  • Acknowledge situations from your past that may have led to the wounding of your ego. 
  • Identify in your journal the ways in which you communicate or behave through an unhealthy ego. 
  • Identify ways in which you can express your healthy ego. 
  • Choose to start letting the behaviors of your unhealthy ego melt away and your beautiful original ego take hold so that you can live the life that you deserve. 

SPIRIT HEALTH:

The essence of your spirit is special and manifests differently than that of your soul.  To make the distinction, you could look at a healthy soul as a sort of adult or teacher, while your spirit can be seen as a sort of vibrant, inquisitive, playful teen.  It is your spirit that holds the majority of your overall personality through which you experience life and others experience you.  A spirit is healthy when it is felt as light, free, and joyful and unhealthy when it is infused with sadness, depression, or detachment.  The well-being of your spirit shows up through the fitness of your ego, and it can readily be seen in the sparkle of your eyes, recognized through serenity, vibrance, and happiness.  Or your eyes can show up as dull, removed, sad, or even blank as a sign of a spirit that has been dimmed.  Where this can be confusing is that you can meet someone with a perceived twinkle in their eyes, a playfulness and vitality in their spirit, but if you sit back and watch their behaviors, they can come off not just as free and adolescent but as immature and careless.  The health of your spirit is important because it affects the entirety of your everyday life as well as the world around you.  Life can either be handled in a mature, helpful, and constructive manner or in a way that ultimately does not serve you.  It is easy to tell the difference based on how well your life is going, sensed through the unmistakable peace that energetically surrounds you.  With a healthy spirit, you attract healthy people.  You live a life that is responsible yet still filled with joy and childlike wonder.  It is not filled with unnecessary drama or struggle. 

Find a safe and secluded space with a mirror.  When you look into it, smile in as big and pure a manner that you can, and then take your journal and cover your smile in your reflection.  While doing so, look deeply at and into your eyes, and see what they truly reflect.  Do they look light, happy, and peaceful?  Or do they reveal stress, anger, pain, or detachment?  Regardless of what you see, approach your reflection with gentleness and love, and thank it for showing you the truth of what lies within.  If what you are experiencing indicates that your spirit needs love and attention, then it is time to honor yourself by getting real with how, where, and why your life needs some nurturing.  Take your journal and identify the areas of your life that have been robbing you from true love and fulfillment, whether it be your own actions and behaviors, areas of necessary healing, or the behaviors of others.  While creating this list, note some ways that you believe healing can begin and lovingly get started.  There is no shame in not being perfect!  It’s just time for you and your life to experience all of the amazing gifts awaiting you.  If you are already in a place where you see joy, love, and peace in your eyes, that is beautiful and meant to be shared with everyone you come across, as it can be medicinal energetically.  Just make sure to do so while protecting your own healthy boundaries. 

  • Seek to clarify the distinction between your spirit and your soul. 
  • Identify whether your spirit is healthy through such indicators as the genuine sparkle in your eye or even whether you would consider yourself truly serene, vibrant, or happy. 
  • Note in your journal the areas of your life that have been robbing you from true love and fulfillment, whether it be your own actions and behaviors, areas of necessary healing, or the behaviors of others. 
  • While creating this list, note some ways that you believe healing can begin and lovingly get started. 

SELF-CONTROL:

Oy vey, self-control!  This is a big one – probably bigger than you might think!  Just how in control are you really?  And what does being in control mean to you?  Do you have to be “right” in order to feel safe, calm, and happy?  Does everything in your life have to be perfectly in line?  If something is out of place in your home, does it trigger a pang in your gut?  Does it cause you anxiety if you notice that a picture on the wall is crooked, or do you simply regard it calmly, knowing it can be straightened at any time?  Do you feel controlled by your environment, your life, your thoughts, or someone close to you in your life? 

The practice of self-control is actually not about control at all, but rather becoming aware of your need to control and what controls you.  What is key to successful mastery is grasping the ability – carried out with peace, harmony, and balance – to fully let go of that which holds you back from your highest self and experience in life.  Every area of your life in which you feel a deep need to control is actually attached to a childhood wound that has yet to be fully recognized and healed.  Such ways of control range from the thoughts in your head (e.g. ruminating on the negative or bullying others to your will) to the food you put in your body (e.g. binge eating) to the reactions you have to what is happening in the world around you (e.g. angry outbursts or drinking too much).  True self-control is the ability to sit in your highest self in your adulthood without needing to compulsively react and control.  Instead, observe everything happening in your world with a state of grace, curiosity, and mindfulness.  This takes a level of spiritual self-discipline vital for you to be open to all of life’s teachers, gifts, and love. 

Grab your journal, and as honestly and mindfully as you can, take note of every possible area of your life that you either try to control, feel the need to control, or would like to be in control.  The same goes for areas of your life where you may have handed over control unnecessarily or even destructively to yourself or others.  Next, take a look at your life beginning with your childhood, and seek to find a relationship between the wounds of your past to the areas of your life that you presently attempt to control.  Hold each of these memories and feelings with grace and compassion, not with shame, and try to find ways in which you can grant forgiveness first to yourself and possibly to another.  Once you have identified these areas of unhelpful control, close your eyes and see yourself in each of these individual moments from your past.  Envision yourself releasing the hook that these painful experiences may have dug into you, along with the ensuing behaviors attached to these memories.  When finished, take a deep cleansing breath through your nose and exhale slowly out through your mouth as you visualize all these behaviors floating away like leaves in the wind.  After this practice, savor the new moments of peace and freedom that you now experience each time a potential moment of control challenges you with a new opportunity for growth and awareness. 

  • Determine whether you feel controlled by your environment, your life, your thoughts, or someone close to you in your life. 
  • Observe everything happening in your world with a state of grace, curiosity, and mindfulness and without a need to compulsively react and control. 
  • Write in your journal every possible area of your life that you either try to control, feel the need to control, or would like to be in control. 
  • Seek to find a relationship between the wounds of your past to the areas of your life that you presently attempt to control. 
  • Envision yourself releasing the hook that these painful experiences may have dug into you, along with the ensuing behaviors attached to these memories. 

BODY/FITNESS:

Oh, that beautiful bod of yours!  Yes, this is exactly how you should look at it and treat it, as your body is truly your temple and loving vessel that unconditionally carries you through life.  However, most people unfortunately experience their bodies only through the lens of the ego.  For example, you might look at your body primarily as a sexual vehicle utilized when sharing intimate or sensual moments with another.  Or you could see it as a receptacle for illness or pain.  You might also view your body as a trophy to show off or as a mess with flaws to hide.  Nonetheless, your body is absolutely perfect and beautiful just as it is, and it is crucial for you to recognize this in its truest form.  Your body also gives you loving warning signs regarding the true state of your health through such indicators as the glow of your skin, the pangs in your stomach, the aches in your joints, or even the tugs of depression.  What you may have been considering a mere bag of protoplasm is actually the most caring, loyal, supportive “companion” you will ever have.  Regardless of whether you champion it or abuse it, your body remains with you in whatever form until the very end, and it also reveals the truth of how you genuinely love yourself. 

The human body serves us in so many ways.  It carries and fights every illness in our cells.  It sees beauty in the sunset, sheds tears when a loss is mourned, reassures when a loving touch occurs, and calms after an incredible orgasm.  Yet humans too often mistreat their bodies through the toxins that they allow into these beautiful and life-affirming vessels.  You may abuse your body through excess consumption of unhealthy foods, alcohol, drugs, or even pollutants, or you may allow others to harm your body through criticism, harsh words, or uninvited touch.  If you are engaging in any of these behaviors, this is not meant for you to feel shame but rather an opportunity to exercise compassion toward yourself and to set healthy boundaries, as people too often treat themselves as adults the way that they may have been mistreated during their formative years.  If you were abandoned, you will most likely find ways to abandon yourself – until you are able to love yourself in ways that honor your true worth. 

How heartbreaking that so many have missed out on recognizing the amazing gift of their body.  People need to refrain from deeming the body as “fat,” “ugly,” “too thin,” or “not in shape” as opposed to soulfully what it is, which is completely perfect and beautiful.  However you have managed your body past or present, it is vital that you see it and treat it with love and pure respect, for it is truly the only one you will ever have from the moment you are born til the day that you expire. 

In order to honor your body for a long and healthy life, it is essential to maintain it in working order.  Do you send your body loving thoughts as well as renewing energy?  Do you take in fresh air to revitalize your lungs?  Do you nourish it with nutritious and balanced foods?  Do you hydrate yourself with enough water?  Do you exercise, move, and stretch those wonderful joints and limbs?  Or do you look at your body and say, “Yuck!”?  Do you abuse your body by staying stagnant and abandoning it until it has no choice but to beg for your attention?  At the end of the day, taking your body for granted reveals a detached and fractured ego, which clearly does not serve you. 

This is a good time for some self-reflection and to grab your journal.  Go into a room with a large mirror, where you can fully remove your clothes and look at your body from head to toe.  Notice and record the first thoughts that you have when seeing your naked body.  Also, notice how you’ve taken care of it.  As you examine yourself, do you tell yourself, “Yum, I look like a snack!” or “I truly do have a beautiful body!”?  Or is it “Gross…” as you find every self-perceived flaw?  Regardless of what you observe, stand back and look at your body again.  Respect it as the perfect vessel that was given to you at birth that carries many amazing experiences of love, joy, and wisdom.  Thank your body for being alive and never leaving you.  Make the decision to do all that you can moving forward to honor it in every way possible.  With self-compassion, jot down all the different ways that you have abandoned your body up to this point, and make a list of the things that you are going to do to start treating your body with the respect it deserves.  Each day, start your morning with a good stretch and a deep cleansing breath.  Choose one set of your favorite workout each day as well, and finish the day with another good stretch and a deep calming breath before you lie down to sleep.  Relish in this newfound experience as you evolve along with that beautiful bod of yours! 

  • Recognize first that your body is absolutely perfect and beautiful just as it is, and it should be treated with the respect that it duly deserves. 
  • Maintain your body in working order through such vital ingredients as fresh air, nutritious and balanced diet, plentiful hydration, sufficient exercise, and even positive affirmations of gratitude. 
  • Disrobe in front of a full-length mirror, and note in your journal all the thoughts that you have when seeing your naked body. 
  • Jot down all the different ways that you have abandoned your body up to this point, and make a list of the things that you are going to do to start treating your body with the respect that it deserves. 

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WORK (CALLING):

When you see the word “work,” notice your reaction.  Do you instantly smile?  Do you feel joy and pride at what is a labor of love that invigorates you regardless of the amount of money you make?  Or do you feel instantly anxious or stressed?  Do you feel like a failure?  Do you feel like you are wasting your time in life?  Do you feel like you are treading water, mired in the rat race?  Do you feel an unhealthy pressure to conform to society’s expectations in order to achieve what others deem to be success for you?  Do you feel calm after reading these questions, or is your heart pounding in your chest?! 

The work that you do is in direct correlation to the genuine love that you have for yourself.  So if your work isn’t bringing you joy and satisfaction, you have a lot to think about!  Most people reading this have to work to survive, while some of you may have been born into wealth or hit the lottery.  Nonetheless, work is not necessarily meant to be just about putting food on the table.  Instead, it is an incredible way for you to show your connection to your highest self with love and truth through knowing and honoring your “calling.”  Whether you are a doctor who is passionate about healing and saving lives or you are the best darn shoe shiner at the airport, all that you do is seen, experienced, and honored back energetically through life by the joy and the passion you put into it.  Of course, this is true as well in jobs that may not involve financial compensation, whether you donate your time to your favorite charity or you are a parent passionate about raising the most happy and balanced children into joyful, thriving adults.  If you are passionate about people and making someone smile, that can be done in countless ways.  Regardless of whether you work for a paycheck or not, it is crucial that you find and honor your calling, which is one of the most rewarding ways in which you can give back to the bountiful world that awaits.  There is no job that doesn’t come with tremendous value, as the work that you do as an individual impacts yourself and others either positively or negatively.  Your attitude, beginning with the way you honor yourself, shows up in everything you do.  Is your work your calling? 

Tangible rewards in life can often seem unattainable.  However, if you are following your passion, your values, and that which inspires you, the most magical experiences in life can take root.  Wealth, power, prestige, or good looks cannot make you happy by themselves, as many people who enjoy such circumstances might still suffer loneliness and dissatisfaction.  At the same time, those with very little financial means might perceive themselves to possess no worldly power or prestige, yet many of these are some of the most happy and content people you could ever meet.  No matter where you might be in life today, what matters most is that you listen to, honor, and enjoy the work that you do.  If you don’t, it’s time for a change.  Life is short.  You are valuable.  And you matter! 

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?  A superhero?  A fireman?  A doctor?  An astronaut?  A virtuoso violinist?  A ballerina?  A mom?  A dad?  An author?  A CEO?  Fastforward to today.  What do you do for work now?  Do you see any aspects of your childhood dream in the work you do today?  In what ways?  Or did you let your dream fall by the wayside?  Where, when, and why?  What would you need to do or change to get your dream back?  Do you truly believe in yourself and accept that you deserve joy and fulfillment?  If you think you do not possess the required education or training, remember it is never too late, as it is not unheard of for people to seek a mentor or even attend university well into their 80’s!  What was the original passion that motivated you?  What is your passion today?  What lies in the gap between you and achieving your wildest dreams? 

Grab your journal, and thoughtfully note the answers to these questions.  Visualize and feel what is necessary to propel your life in the direction that you deserve.  Find an accountability buddy, and create an action plan that enables you to supercharge that amazing life of yours!  Make sure that your buddy truly holds you accountable with sincere care and support.  Everyone has a calling, and you are worthy of yours! 

  • Acknowledge to yourself whether you feel fulfilled with the work that you do. 
  • Identify in your journal what you had wanted to be as a child once you grew up.  Ask yourself whether you are today where you originally wanted to be in life, and if not, determine what lies in that gap between your wildest dreams and your present reality. 
  • Visualize and feel what is necessary to propel your life in the direction that you deserve, and make an action plan that enables you to supercharge that amazing life of yours.